Looking Back

The time and date is different

From whence it all began.
Our love has lasted
Through love and pain.
Almost a year of learning who we are
Whilst we are so far apart.
The promises you made were surrendered and accepted
Once the truth came to light.
Your words and actions have shown me enough
To know that the loss of not calling you my own
is all the worth when it is I who you love.
Bared it all, once again
Call me a fool for letting you in
At least you know where I stand.
My heart is yours, as I’ve said it
Again and again.
I look forward to the memories and time
We spend.

Solemnly Swear

Simple conversations open deep wounds

Once locked away.

I solemnly swear i am the killer of my own happiness.

Why wear so many masks to hide the inevitable

I solemnly swear I know what I must do.

Hurting those would be the death of me

Again, the selfless fool.

Who was I but a tool

Playing a role in your book

Another chapter, another life.

I solemnly swear I am anything but sure.

The Betrayal

I raised you up to the highest peak

Picked you up from the lowest depth

Yet none of it mattered.

The cards mentioned an intangible event

Never did I think it’d be our bond

Set up to die.

Your past behavior should’ve been the sign

For it was clear, our friendship

was all but mine.

Cross Lovers

Though no present, I feel you in my soul

Even in my dreams, you occupy my throne.

How our suffering led us

To the arms of someone

Who cannot be called our own.

Changing the course of our lives

When we were at a crossroads

We rose to the highest peak

Of understanding our truest selves.

Together but separated by time.

Here we are, living two worlds

Just to have a piece of the love

We always sought to have.

Isolation

In the cold bathtub, I lay in the water

Hoping to find warmth in the pool of tears.

Drinking away my health

As I sit here.

No one to hold me through this phase

Alone with my alcohol to numb the pain.

what the day unfolded when seeking answers for questions unspoken

I was there in your darkest days

Without question, we always were on the same page.

Synced into existence, we slowly became

Sisters from different men.

We shared the same battle

We grew from fires

Reborn into the same moon cycle

I bid you clarification

Fo this day , you’ll soon regain

The deepest refrain of speaking truth

When all could grow from the roots

Of your disdain.

12 Years …Gone.

Locked away in the bathroom

Avoiding everything but the sorrow.

Who knew she could take away the only solitude of trust I had

Who knew her collected tone could pierce my heart

The one I could confide to and never be judged

My truest friend…

Oh how you broke my heart.

After everything I have forgiven you for

You turn your back…

Loneliness was always a friend

But now it seems it is my twin…

Living in Fear

I’ve shared too much of my heart

I know now there is no going back.

Never will I be the same

Once you’ve broken these chains.

Whispers are telling me you don’t want this anymore

Are my emotions spiraling out of control?

You’re afraid to make it a day

But yet you’ve done it all before.

What’s shifted or is it that I’m not wanted anymore?

I’ve noticed even the poems have stopped

I suppose the spark has fallen apart..

I’ve shared too much to take it back

Although at times I wish I could.

Soul I Sought

The soul I sought

Is the one whose fate has been set in stone.

The love I caught during the storm

Is the one who will never be my own.

Such a tricky line to steadily tip toe on the tight rope.

All who came and all who left, wavered their chance.

Unlike him, who matches even the tiniest resemblance to my very own soul is out of reach.

With the sunlight in the rear view mirror, to the hands caressing my body and to the whispers we grant each other in a room full of strangers.

Such a tugging fantasy that grips my heart the second your person comes into my view.

This naive damsel who wants nothing but a chance to have you.

All Along

A fools game to think

These emotions would vanish

As quickly as the moon did.

Too little time

Too much on the line.

The last one will never be for fate has made it known

With his gavel the words were told.

But the first one had fallen through

When lost words were never said.

One day the second could be freed

But the question will never be answered.

In the end, it was she

who was needed instead.

Point

At the end, i spared myself

To the spear, pointed at my heart.

The time being, your every move will be

Second guessed.

The tides changed as we drove

Our way home.

You now know where I stand

Pointed in the direction

My compass aimed.

Come along or wither away

For this night is long overdue

In a way.

My love for you will never go away

But now my loyalty must remain

Within myself

So if the day ever arrives, I must walk away.