Aside

Time froze

My hell began

Only for it to be my end.

Your words stopped

Yet mine flowed

Only for it to be condoned.

The silence of your words

Began when you no longer found the time

Though it appears

I am put to the side.

I ask for little in return

Since in this life you will not deter.

Say nothing

Instead, don’t make me feel alone.

 

 

 

Dimmed Stars

As of late, the stars in my sky have dimmed..

The will to remain strong has slowly dissipated

Into nonexistent.

There has only been darkness in my heart

Since everyone broke me apart.

So much has been given

And so little has been received.

Exhausted from the pull of others

Torn from every excuse

Withered away into the wind is my trust in all

Who remain.

No one sees the pain I endure

For I lock it all away..

Never will I tell a soul

Because in the end, they will take it all away.

Closing in

Trapped inside a box

The walls begin to whisper of past words

Even the same chords from long ago

Have begun to wrap themselves around my bones.

Every penny and every dime

That was once mine

Have now dissolved into your own.

Repeated patterns from years ago

Have finally begun to show.

Back into the same drowning waters

I once escaped.

Suffocating within my mind

my chest begins to cave

As the tears fall down my face.

Desperately trying to hold on to the ledge

Of my sanity.

Slipping from reality

As the knot in my throat grows with every second

It’d be easier if I just let it go

Looking Back

The time and date is different

From whence it all began.
Our love has lasted
Through love and pain.
Almost a year of learning who we are
Whilst we are so far apart.
The promises you made were surrendered and accepted
Once the truth came to light.
Your words and actions have shown me enough
To know that the loss of not calling you my own
is all the worth when it is I who you love.
Bared it all, once again
Call me a fool for letting you in
At least you know where I stand.
My heart is yours, as I’ve said it
Again and again.
I look forward to the memories and time
We spend.

Solemnly Swear

Simple conversations open deep wounds

Once locked away.

I solemnly swear i am the killer of my own happiness.

Why wear so many masks to hide the inevitable

I solemnly swear I know what I must do.

Hurting those would be the death of me

Again, the selfless fool.

Who was I but a tool

Playing a role in your book

Another chapter, another life.

I solemnly swear I am anything but sure.

The Betrayal

I raised you up to the highest peak

Picked you up from the lowest depth

Yet none of it mattered.

The cards mentioned an intangible event

Never did I think it’d be our bond

Set up to die.

Your past behavior should’ve been the sign

For it was clear, our friendship

was all but mine.

Cross Lovers

Though no present, I feel you in my soul

Even in my dreams, you occupy my throne.

How our suffering led us

To the arms of someone

Who cannot be called our own.

Changing the course of our lives

When we were at a crossroads

We rose to the highest peak

Of understanding our truest selves.

Together but separated by time.

Here we are, living two worlds

Just to have a piece of the love

We always sought to have.

Isolation

In the cold bathtub, I lay in the water

Hoping to find warmth in the pool of tears.

Drinking away my health

As I sit here.

No one to hold me through this phase

Alone with my alcohol to numb the pain.

what the day unfolded when seeking answers for questions unspoken

I was there in your darkest days

Without question, we always were on the same page.

Synced into existence, we slowly became

Sisters from different men.

We shared the same battle

We grew from fires

Reborn into the same moon cycle

I bid you clarification

Fo this day , you’ll soon regain

The deepest refrain of speaking truth

When all could grow from the roots

Of your disdain.

12 Years …Gone.

Locked away in the bathroom

Avoiding everything but the sorrow.

Who knew she could take away the only solitude of trust I had

Who knew her collected tone could pierce my heart

The one I could confide to and never be judged

My truest friend…

Oh how you broke my heart.

After everything I have forgiven you for

You turn your back…

Loneliness was always a friend

But now it seems it is my twin…