The time and date is different
Simple conversations open deep wounds
Once locked away.
I solemnly swear i am the killer of my own happiness.
Why wear so many masks to hide the inevitable
I solemnly swear I know what I must do.
Hurting those would be the death of me
Again, the selfless fool.
Who was I but a tool
Playing a role in your book
Another chapter, another life.
I solemnly swear I am anything but sure.
I raised you up to the highest peak
Picked you up from the lowest depth
Yet none of it mattered.
The cards mentioned an intangible event
Never did I think it’d be our bond
Set up to die.
Your past behavior should’ve been the sign
For it was clear, our friendship
was all but mine.
Though no present, I feel you in my soul
Even in my dreams, you occupy my throne.
How our suffering led us
To the arms of someone
Who cannot be called our own.
Changing the course of our lives
When we were at a crossroads
We rose to the highest peak
Of understanding our truest selves.
Together but separated by time.
Here we are, living two worlds
Just to have a piece of the love
We always sought to have.
In the cold bathtub, I lay in the water
Hoping to find warmth in the pool of tears.
Drinking away my health
As I sit here.
No one to hold me through this phase
Alone with my alcohol to numb the pain.
what the day unfolded when seeking answers for questions unspoken
I was there in your darkest days
Without question, we always were on the same page.
Synced into existence, we slowly became
Sisters from different men.
We shared the same battle
We grew from fires
Reborn into the same moon cycle
I bid you clarification
Fo this day , you’ll soon regain
The deepest refrain of speaking truth
When all could grow from the roots
Of your disdain.
Locked away in the bathroom
Avoiding everything but the sorrow.
Who knew she could take away the only solitude of trust I had
Who knew her collected tone could pierce my heart
The one I could confide to and never be judged
My truest friend…
Oh how you broke my heart.
After everything I have forgiven you for
You turn your back…
Loneliness was always a friend
But now it seems it is my twin…
I’ve shared too much of my heart
I know now there is no going back.
Never will I be the same
Once you’ve broken these chains.
Whispers are telling me you don’t want this anymore
Are my emotions spiraling out of control?
You’re afraid to make it a day
But yet you’ve done it all before.
What’s shifted or is it that I’m not wanted anymore?
I’ve noticed even the poems have stopped
I suppose the spark has fallen apart..
I’ve shared too much to take it back
Although at times I wish I could.
The soul I sought
Is the one whose fate has been set in stone.
The love I caught during the storm
Is the one who will never be my own.
Such a tricky line to steadily tip toe on the tight rope.
All who came and all who left, wavered their chance.
Unlike him, who matches even the tiniest resemblance to my very own soul is out of reach.
With the sunlight in the rear view mirror, to the hands caressing my body and to the whispers we grant each other in a room full of strangers.
Such a tugging fantasy that grips my heart the second your person comes into my view.
This naive damsel who wants nothing but a chance to have you.
A fools game to think
These emotions would vanish
As quickly as the moon did.
Too little time
Too much on the line.
The last one will never be for fate has made it known
With his gavel the words were told.
But the first one had fallen through
When lost words were never said.
One day the second could be freed
But the question will never be answered.
In the end, it was she
who was needed instead.
At the end, i spared myself
To the spear, pointed at my heart.
The time being, your every move will be
The tides changed as we drove
Our way home.
You now know where I stand
Pointed in the direction
My compass aimed.
Come along or wither away
For this night is long overdue
In a way.
My love for you will never go away
But now my loyalty must remain
So if the day ever arrives, I must walk away.