12 Years …Gone.

Locked away in the bathroom

Avoiding everything but the sorrow.

Who knew she could take away the only solitude of trust I had

Who knew her collected tone could pierce my heart

The one I could confide to and never be judged

My truest friend…

Oh how you broke my heart.

After everything I have forgiven you for

You turn your back…

Loneliness was always a friend

But now it seems it is my twin…

They all Failed

Her trauma wrote what her future

Would present.

Poems written out of desperation

For someone to save her.

Atlas, no one heard her cries

In the darkness or at sunrise.

Fearing the wind would whisper

Her secrets to a stranger

Maybe then she would find a savior.

Years grew over her soul

Like a house full of bones.

Her inner sadness trapped inside

To never once show its eyeless mask.

Old enough to understand

What she suffered was more common

Than having a friend.

Long ago, she was i

And I was she.

Now I have come to sense

They all failed me.

Piece of Cake

As I toil with their expectations

Knowing I’ll never be free

Or be what they want me to be.

The perfect daughter or the perfect wife

I seize to be what they want from me.

Exhausted of trying so hard

To receive but a taste of the cake

I helped create.

What we built has only been based

On the equation of my mistakes.

He plays his games with my heart

To pretend he will change even if it’s

Just for a part.

The words he sarcastically deem

Upon this selfless soul

Who will always, somehow, feel alone.

I refuse to be a piece of my downfall

In the years to come.

Drained

The fire she hearth for herself

Has diminished with simple words.

Her inner ambition

Shot to the ground by change.

Unknowingly, it was a blessing in disguise.

Vulnerability is all she felt in that moment

Of self doubt.

Everyone tells her what she needs but none cared

To truly see that this killed her every hope.

The lions pride must wither away so the journey could present itself in more than one way.

Now she must reflect on what’s to come and the suffering she must endure to make it through a day..

For now, all she can do is cry and self blame

Because only I know that I’m already drained…

Guilt Tripped

He guilts trip me for wanting my alone time

Yet if he really knew what was on my mind.

Sick and tired of all the lies

He did this to me.

Made me resent because of how he use to treat me.

Loyal through it all

Damaged by your hands.

I remember the one time you laid them on me

An image I can never forget.

Unintentional because of the withdrawals

How do you expect me to just forget?

We both Know

Cruel truths dwindle deep Into my soul

For I am aware of where this road leads

Despair grasping my heart

Because I am not what you need

The score has been settled

And we are in too deep..

For I am aware of where the scars will seep

Another piece left of me

On the ground by your feet

You can continue to wear the mask

To cover up your pain

For you are lonely , this you told me

As I tried to comfort you, knowing I have nothing to gain

But this isolated island of emotions

You helped create…

Day 1: Open Wounds

Another break in the glass

Fragmented by loss

My eyes steer away

So out of touch.

Either it be because of me

Or my thoughts

I cannot say.

I weep as the hours tick by

No one knows the true pain inside.

Another month will go by

And yet the wounds will never heal right.

All I want is to sit in the dark

While my world falls apart.

It had to be done

Or it would’ve never worked.

If it was meant to be

You will see

This had a purpose all along.

When?

Despair and sorrow grasp my neck

As I suffocate under the veil of an selfless act

When will the day arrive where I never once

Have to doubt.

Frustration and self hatred fuel the rage

Of my own mistakes.

The indention of my scars are digging deeper

Reminding me of an age of disappointments

Oh, the never ending broken promises.

Cold and abandonment

Have paved the way of my ever growing book of life.