Knowing from the beginning
It’d hurt so deep
Yet I paced onto this dangerous path.
Seems no matter which turn
I’d lose the game
With the guilt and shame.
A vision played in the fire
Promising a mutual understanding.
Yet we threw our dice onto the roulette
We risked our fate.
Now looking eye to eye
We must face what the cards prayed
Before our time even began.
As of late, the stars in my sky have dimmed..
The will to remain strong has slowly dissipated
There has only been darkness in my heart
Since everyone broke me apart.
So much has been given
And so little has been received.
Exhausted from the pull of others
Torn from every excuse
Withered away into the wind is my trust in all
No one sees the pain I endure
For I lock it all away..
Never will I tell a soul
Because in the end, they will take it all away.
He guilts trip me for wanting my alone time
Yet if he really knew what was on my mind.
Sick and tired of all the lies
He did this to me.
Made me resent because of how he use to treat me.
Loyal through it all
Damaged by your hands.
I remember the one time you laid them on me
An image I can never forget.
Unintentional because of the withdrawals
How do you expect me to just forget?
No one to hear my cries
Nothing to console my soul
For I am truly alone..
I’ve done nothing but cry
Seeing my reflection in my own eyes
Is just a reminder of how much I can break.
No one really cares to comfort me
It doesn’t even matter anyways
You’ve made it clear
You can’t talk to me…
He mentions forever
My heart whispers silence
For I no longer see that future.
I sense a change but see nothing
Then again, it’s been a day.
Change takes time
Although, throughout the years
The damage is done.
Unaware of what to do next
I sense confusion
The road will present itself
In many ways
More than one.
Another break in the glass
Fragmented by loss
My eyes steer away
So out of touch.
Either it be because of me
Or my thoughts
I cannot say.
I weep as the hours tick by
No one knows the true pain inside.
Another month will go by
And yet the wounds will never heal right.
All I want is to sit in the dark
While my world falls apart.
It had to be done
Or it would’ve never worked.
If it was meant to be
You will see
This had a purpose all along.
Despair and sorrow grasp my neck
As I suffocate under the veil of an selfless act
When will the day arrive where I never once
Have to doubt.
Frustration and self hatred fuel the rage
Of my own mistakes.
The indention of my scars are digging deeper
Reminding me of an age of disappointments
Oh, the never ending broken promises.
Cold and abandonment
Have paved the way of my ever growing book of life.
I walked the forgotten path
I once took hath I not been swayed
By the sweet tune of the hushed voices
I swam in the lost river
Of those who drowned in their failure.
I sought comfort in its warmth
Knowing one day the time will come
Where I will once again
Greet the lost and the lonely
For I’ll always be one.