Solemnly Swear

Simple conversations open deep wounds

Once locked away.

I solemnly swear i am the killer of my own happiness.

Why wear so many masks to hide the inevitable

I solemnly swear I know what I must do.

Hurting those would be the death of me

Again, the selfless fool.

Who was I but a tool

Playing a role in your book

Another chapter, another life.

I solemnly swear I am anything but sure.

All Along

A fools game to think

These emotions would vanish

As quickly as the moon did.

Too little time

Too much on the line.

The last one will never be for fate has made it known

With his gavel the words were told.

But the first one had fallen through

When lost words were never said.

One day the second could be freed

But the question will never be answered.

In the end, it was she

who was needed instead.

Almost 25 

I don’t know how others feel because I surround myself with very few people whom I never fully surrender my inner thoughts to.

Instead, I seek to spill my sorrows in words. It’s therapeutical and yet soothing to finally let go what is on my mind.

Let’s start from the beginning.

Once a dreamer, always a thinker & forever an emotional person. I seen things no one at a young age should see..I’ve felt betrayal at its fullest when I gave in and let the pain set in. I’ve screamed at the top of my lungs out of frustration and somehow no matter how much time flies I can’t shake the feeling there are missing pieces in my heart.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better at hiding and subsiding my pain. I also know that once a door is opened it’s hard to close it when the very hinges that hold it together could burts into millions of pieces, disabling it from being fixed.

We are too focused to live to pay for the very things we want but do we truly understand that maybe after we get what we want it might not make us happier in the end. 

I dreamt of already having a college degree and a house, but life throws you in a path to determine if you’d come out sane and motivated enough to make the best out of it.

I’ve decided I may not have what I would’ve liked to have by this age but it only makes me dream more and be more motivated than ever to accomplish my goals. It’s a new year to forget what we’ve gone through because the past is no longer something to judge but a timeline to reflect upon so further pain and hurt and disappointments can be learned from as a lesson.

Cheers to those who know what I speak!

Self reflection 

I accept myself is all you need to say

Despite your flaws and despite the dents 

Of those who hurt you. 

I am strong 

I am coated with impenetrable armour 

Because I chose to be this warrior. 

I can soak in the pain

And never once let you see this Mountain 

Of self reflection I have upon myself. 

You do not know me 

I know you 

I know the fears that lay within the depth 

Of your tears. 

Those lonely nights

You stay up crying 

Because you can’t understand why. 

I’ll tell you why

You’re more than this

Fear not because things happen

So you can be the person 

You were always meant to be…